We wanted to write a blog post about this subject for a while as we have many parents that come to see us to help their children deal with being bullied or they don’t want them to be a victim of bullying and it is something that is to common and it doesn’t seem to be disappearing.
In this digital age bullying isn’t something that is just isolated in schools with social media being a big part in everyone’s life it can spread to social profiles on Facebook or even be sent through on Snap chat it’s hard to escape.
Bullying comes in different forms from physical, verbal and mental abuse.
A lot of victims of bullying might not have done or said anything to become a victim!
Victims of bullying aren’t all bullied for the same reasons but it all falls under one category they are different to the person doing the bullying – religion, skin colour, gender, appearance, values.
If you look back I can guarantee that you’ll have known someone or know someone that was bullied at school for not wearing a £60 pair of the latest Nike or Adidas trainers or maybe they had difficulties reading or spelling.
For a victim of bullying it is a really difficult time in as they don’t know what to do or who to turn to for help and what are the consequences if they do? so a lot of the time it fly’s under the radar and isn’t spotted or is spotted too late.
A lot of children suffer in silence and can cause emotional problems with outbursts of rage through frustration or being quiet ashamed and unsure what to do.
For parents of a child being bullied it can also be a difficult time as they maybe unsure of how they can help or what advise to give?
These days you’ve got to be careful say “call them a name back” or “hit them back” as it can provoke a more aggressive response and could also lead to them getting into trouble themselves with the school.
So its difficult.
What we do with our students at Pride is give as much support and help as physically possible and also help the parents and give advice.
We build confidence through our martial arts training and teach them self defence and anti bullying techniques.
Not all issues with bullies can be resolved with violence as in some cases it can make the situation worse so we implement conflict avoidance techniques and if the situation is unavoidable the martial arts defensive skills can be used.
Confidence can be a major key factor to anyone being bullied! The confidence that they can stand up for themselves but also the confidence to seek help and support from friends, family and also their teachers.
Some victims of bullying see it as a weakness and don’t want to draw attention to themselves or be called a “grass” or “snitch” in a fear of making the situation worse but it doesn’t make the issue go away.
** Seeking help is not a weakness it is a strength! **
For the parents it’s difficult to stand by and do nothing when all you’d like to do is take matters into your own hands and grabbing hold of the bully yourself!
Talking to your child is important to try and get the full facts of whats been happening? and who has been causing the bullying? Once you have all the information you can help.
First point is to contact the school and ask to speak to your child’s form teacher or head teach and ask the question “do you know my child is being bullied?” most of the time the school doesn’t know. You can make them aware of the situation.
If they do know then you have the right to ask them what are they doing to rectify the situation? and a good school should have a bullying policy in place.
Another option is to ask for a meeting through the school to talk about the situation and leave it to the school to inform the bullies parents or alternatively have school hold a meeting with the other parents involved to discuss and what actions to be taken.
The reality about bullying is that every case is different it might stop right away, it might take a while or it might never stop and a more drastic measure may need to take place.
Looking at this it’s only a short overview on the subject as you can go into great depths and everyone has their own options on how to deal with the subject.
For us at Pride it’s to do everything possible to resolve the issue without resorting to violence but also teaching our students the skills and abilities to stay safe and protect themselves when needed.